The Blog of Augusta Tooth

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Hey I'm back! Remember me? Augusta Tooth. I'll write more soon

posted by Marie H @ 9:12 PM 0 comments

Breaking My Silence: Sexual Chemistry

The world is too much with us. (How has Wordsworth gotten into this blog now?)

I've been away for too long, but I've been reading the most amazing book, The Power of the Actor by Ivana Chubbuck.

How do you die on stage? How do you become an addict on stage? How do you act authentically drunk? How do you create sexual chemistry? Do you want to create sexual chemistry? Ivana Chubbuck has the answers....

I've been experimenting with sexual chemistry.

Ivana says that the first thing that you do is you identify what the "commonality of pain" is with the person you want to have chemistry with. Then you look into that person's eyes. And then you fantasize like crazy about what you and he (or she!) could do sexually together. According to Ivana, the wilder the fantasies are, the better. What kinky things do you only dream about? What would make you feel wonderful? The person you are fantasizing about won't know that you are fantasizing--don't tell him--but will feel an attraction.

I need to go back to my experiments now. I'll report the results over the next few days.

posted by Marie H @ 10:37 AM 0 comments

Sexual Chemistry and Technical Writing

I used to teach technical writing.

What's wonderful about Ivana Chubbuck's technique for creating sexual chemistry on stage is that it really is a series of steps that could be documented as easily as a computer program--or anything else--could be documented.

* * * * * * *

How to Create Sexual Chemistry

To create sexual chemistry, follow these five easy steps.

1. Choose the person you want to have sexual chemistry with. Make sure that you are prepared to deal with any consequences. Take a playful approach towards this step.
2. Find the opportunity to discuss subjects of mutual concern with your target. Through insightful questioning, isolate sources of pain that your target experiences.
   
3. Compare your target's sources of pain with your own and identify at least one source that you have in common.
   
4. Look into your target's eyes while thinking about your mutual source of pain.
5. Simultaneously begin fantasizing about all the sexual things that you could be doing with your target.

Your sexual target will remain clueless. He or she will have no idea that you are manipulating the situation to create sexual chemistry. But your partner will feel its effects. Have fun!

* * * * * * *

Now these instructions need to be user tested.

Do they need graphics or should they be online?

What about a tutorial?

How can they be adjusted to take good localization and internationalization practices into account?

Could instructions like this be offshored to India? What modifications might we see if they were rewritten in India or developed further over there?

The possibilities are endless.

posted by Marie H @ 10:21 AM 0 comments

What is this thing called blog

A voice is going in my head and it sings, "What is this thing called blog? This crazy thing called blog. What is it then...." And the words slip out of my head then....

"What is this thing called blog?"

posted by Marie H @ 4:29 PM 0 comments

I'm back or hence loathed melancholy.... (with all asides to John Milton)

The past few days disappeared too quickly.

I would like to escape into beautiful, extravagant things, but that really doesn't seem like a good option. The nightmare of unemployment. The nightmare of Katrina. This is not a very nice world. But then we knew that.

Where can we find the lime bowers that Coleridge alluded to? Or are the solutions to be found in Xanadu, in confessions of the opium eater--or is there too much English major in this post? Where can we forget--forget and be where we must be forever.

Augusta Tooth was going to be silly and salacious. But instead what is happening? What is happening to her adventures? What will make Augusta Tooth feel like doing things again?

Persephone is in Hades....where creativity reigns....but the shadows are dark....and all can feel lost. Is Hell other people? Perhaps in my next blog, we'll take a guided tour of Hell.

posted by Marie H @ 4:19 PM 0 comments

Marie Elizabeth

I'm sorry to report that Marie Elizabeth -- who helped me start this blog -- is no longer going to be able to work with me.

I guess if you want to have something done right, you have to do it yourself. That's truly a cliche, but I'll be doing the posting directly myself now.

I guess that's what George Bush is thinking about when he says that things are "hard work."

Should I do some "hard work" today?

posted by Marie H @ 10:37 AM 0 comments

Frugal Luxuries or Luxurious Frugality

Augusta Tooth likes luxury. Yesterday, after a long day at the nonoffice, Trader Vic's called.

If you get there before 6 p.m. -- or is it 7 p.m. -- they still have happy hour, that often now verboten form of excess that has almost disappeared.... (I would write here about the health Nazis but Bill Maher has announced an edict -- one of his New Rules -- against calling everyone a Nazi. He calls the rule Krystal Not.) (Maybe there aren't really health Nazis in Silicon Valley: maybe everyone became so consumed with either work or wellness that they forgot that escape -- in any form -- can be a welcome necessity. Perhaps Northern California is still engaged in a long-term cyclical reaction to LSD and the Haight Ashbury of the 60's -- sort of a sociological Kondratiev wave.)

Two of the happy hour drinks -- a coconut, brandy, and gin concoction -- surely constituted luxury, and -- at $5 each -- frugality as well. Now it's the morning after and I still taste of the roasted garlic and brie that we somehow had to have with the second round.

What will the day bring? How can I escape the garlic that permeates my whole being?

posted by Marie H @ 8:54 AM 0 comments